I'm not a slob after all.  My bed is made every morning.  There are no dirty dishes in my sink. 

Being on my own, I've discovered a lot of things about myself. 

1) I really like it when my closet is organized by colour and by season.  (I know, I'm a nerd.  Then again, Mia laughs because the cards in my wallet are alphabetized.)

2) I don't eat a lot of junk food.

3) I can cram schoolwork, housework, and outside work into my day and still manage to get 7-8 hours of sleep.

4) I only miss t.v. when I remember that Prison Break is on or when I think of the Gilmore Girls.

5) I like the solitude but I also miss my family's crazy and loving ways, which is what Sunday night dinners are for.

Down to our last two weekends in our apartment.  A couple of months back, when we had just found out my mom got the house, my sister, Bea, talked about the way our thinking was going to change.  Everything was going to be monumental.  Last time we take the 34 Eglinton, last time we have an elevator, last time we go to Soon Lee.  My family's moved a lot.  This is the first time we're actually in a house that my mom owns, not one that we rent and that we intend to leave.  As my Mom and my sisters move into the new house, I am happy that they can have their space.  Even if I won't be living with them, I don't feel like I'm missing out.  Home was always wherever my mom and my sisters were.  Even if we didn't own it. 

On the process itself:  De-cluttering is traumatic at first and then freeing after.  We have all this stuff we keep to remind us of memorable events or to remind us of people, stuff we forget to throw away, stuff we hang on to for reasons only we know.  Throwing out some or most of that stuff is like taking off our training wheels.  It is difficult at first because we're scared that we still need them and then when we realize they were holding us back from all the cool stuff we could only do with a full-fledged two wheeler.  I'm trying to mimnimize my clutter.  Old school notes have been tossed out (even those from university, I'm only keeping my books: novels and anthologies and my resources) old files, old letters, old clothes (donated), etc.  It's traumatic too because I have to go through stuff that I might have put away in haste before.  Heartbreaking to come across stuff that reminds me of broken promises, wasted time, unworthy boys, my papa, better time, YFC East 2 stuff.  I'm on the mend, but I won't get there that quick.  I want the process done and over with so I can move on.  Rip off the band-aid it'll hurt faster and hopefully less.

Tomorrow the countdown begins.  We've been packing and decluttering for a month or so now, but tomorrow it gets serious.  I actually moved the first of my bags to my new place.  I only moved pillows and some blankets but it's still a big deal.  Today, I measured out the furniture and tried to plot out where I wanted to put my stuff.  First, my mom bought a house (Thank you God), so my family is moving at the end of August to the new neighbourhood on McRoberts Av.  Second, I move to my new place on Glenholme Av. which is 10 minutes away from my momma's house.  I didn't really plan it that way, it just worked out like that.  I knew I was moving before they did, so really they're following me.  I haven't talked about it to a lot of people, mostly to my family, my best friends, and my household.  Mia is trying not to think about it so that I don't think about it.  My mom promised I could call whenever I need tupperware and ulam, but I'm hoping not to use my lifelines that often.

So goodbye, Scarborough.  It's been fun (and a little scary sometimes).  I look forward to my new place, shopping for one, cleaning for one, doing homework for one.  I look forward to going to my mom's on the weekend to have dinner.  Most of all, I look forward to growing up, even if I sometimes wish I don't have to.

Summer of Transitions

I haven't blogged in a while, and so much has happened since the last time I was on this to write.  This year has brought my family many blessings and many changes. 

I now have a bi-continental family (if that is a term I can use) since my papa left for the Philippines.  Lots to say on this but I won't say it here because...I plead the fifth.  Or rather, I reserve that stuff for the people who really know what's going on and aren't caught up in trying to indoctrinate my family about the evils of the d-word.

I can now count myself with the people who always say I'm hanging out with my cousins, because I now have 2 cousins living in Toronto who are over the age of 19 apart from my adorable little cousins.  More cousins are also arriving before my birthday. 

This is my last summer in Scarborough.  I am in transition.  Packing will be done on all my days off.

This is going to be my first birthday as an official single (and here's to more birthdays of "singleness")  I'm so happy.  Thanks to friends who reassure me all the time of all the happiness I deserve.  Thank you for keeping me busy, God, because you keep my mind on everything else but that.

I work everyday, except the weekends when I work on my Spanish and my writing.  I babysit a funny little girl named Kirun who sings "King Kong King Kong little star" and her brother Ali who is three and wants to know why mommies, baby sitters and big girls wear bras.  I also deal with grumpy customers who everyday test my optimism, but do not shake me.

My blog is all over the place, but let me just say that there is method to my madness.  I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason.  Hence, we should not live to regret the decisions we make because these are our truths.  The only way to not regret is to live deliberately.  Thinking about what we have to do and say before we make any kind of move.  We cannot deny our past because it is our truth.  It has brought us to our present.  Everything that has happened to my family in the 7 years we've been in Canada has happened for reasons our minds cannot comprehend.  Any disaster, tragedy, sadness, and heartbreak we've ever gone through has brought us to today, this very minute.  I thank God, truly for blessing me with my family, my friends, and my faith.  Truly, Lord, You know better than I.